Fear Of Sleeping

Last night whilst resting mine eyes, I was rudely awoken. What occurred was one of the most physically painful and mentally torturous experiences of my short but extraordinary life so far. It was like being shot and being forced to listen to The Kooks all at once. It was bloody 5.30am, and I had leg cramps.

Artist's impression


Writhing in agony, I had to deal with the dual pain of my left calf muscle trying to burst out of my skin and the fact my sleep had been disturbed at this most ungodly of atheist hours. I've never been woken with cramp before, and it was a terrifying ordeal. Following some brief but comprehensive medical research (Google search for 'leg cramps') I've found that (a) they are most common in elderly people, and (b) nobody really knows what causes them. Brilliant.

I sit here trembling as the clock ticks on, and my force of nature calls me to bed at a reasonable hour. But fear pervades my consciousness. Can I risk slipping back into my dangerous slumber, granting those dastardly cramps the chance to pounce once more, unremittingly savage in their ways, ruthless in their methods? Insomnia beckons.