Friday, October 06, 2006

Carry On Cameron

David Cameron: "Tony Blair once explained his priority in three words: 'education, education, education'. I can do it in three letters... N.H.S."

I can explain Cameron's in one syllable: fraud. I don't like to immerse myself in party politics too much but Dave old chap, you could do with taking a leaf from my book... you're far too long-winded for this soundbite-sized day and indeed age.

The idea of the Tories somehow charging in at the eleventh hour to resuscitate a spluttering, decrepit National Health Service is quite laughable. Cameron was chief author of the Tories' 2005 election manifesto which plegded to help rich people pay for the best private health care (paraphrasing). And just last weekend it was Oliver Letwin who said he sees "no limits" to the privatisation of the NHS. With an image-altering party conference in the offing, Tory chiefs moved quickly to deny Letwin's gaffe/admission of innate Torydom. But it rings true.

The main hope is that enough people aren't fooled by a soundbite and a bloke who clearly understands the powers of Oil of Ulay. The only change in the Tory party is they've found a leader with a tenuous grasp of PR. And one who can remember what some other bloke did ten years ago and has decided to try and emulate him - genius! The Cool Young Tories™ are on the rise, so watch your back. Because if you damage it, it'll cost a fortune to fix.

Same Tories, different fuckwit. In fact I think that should be their next election slogan.

On the other hand, in some ways I feel sympathy for the bloke... he's charging ahead valiantly with his 'modernising' agenda, but all the while he's surrounded by greying party elders looking at each other with baffled expressions and multiple shrugs of shoulders. Without even his own party in tow he's destined to fail, like Sisyphus. And I'll be the one pushing the rock back down the hill.


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