Televisual nadir

I've been bathed in nostalgia this week after discovering the repeats of The Crystal Maze on digital channel Challenge TV. At the risk of sounding like the kind of grumpy and tiresome "things were better in my day" old man I inevitably am deep down, they just don't make TV like that anymore.



Nowadays 'light entertainment' seems to consist of a multitude of mind numbing so-called talent shows, all identical in both their format and lack of intrigue. It's all about individuals hellbent on making themselves known for making themselves known's sake. Big Brother, Shipwrecked, X Factor, Any Dream Will Do, Grease Is The Word... where are the good old-fashioned shows that showcase the finest facets of humanity like The Krypton Factor and The Crystal Maze? Shows that combine athleticism, workrate, knowledge, and gracefulness in a heartwarming hubbub of on-screen achievement. Shows that weren't about getting yourself on the telly, but instead about documenting the evolution of mankind via participation in testing mental games such as landing a simulated plane safely or navigating a crystal through a little hole. You'd never know anything about the competitors other than their name and where they were from. There were no behind the scenes features where you see them having a bacon sandwich at home while their mother espouses their dubious virtues before a camera crew. The kind of understated self-regard of contestants in those shows is much missed in today's TV climate.

Plus, Richard O'Brien (Crystal Maze) and Gordon Burns (Krypton Factor) are the kind of hosts that just wouldn't get the big jobs in TV these days. They possessed far too much charm and charisma to be capable of introducting the next puppet from Walsall to murder a popular musical hit for a live studio audience. I pity the youth of today who are being raised amid such a drought of good TV entertainment shows. Even Gladiators had more charm and educational value than the shows on today (especially Jet).