Sunday, April 01, 2007

Technicalities

I was on the early-morning east coast mainline train down to London yesterday, when the following announcement was made:

"We regret that the trolley service will not actually be able to move between carriages this morning, due to technicial difficulties with the trolley. Instead, it will remain static between coaches C and D. We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause."

'Technical difficulties' with a trolley? One of mankind's most simple and straightforward inventions, featuring four wheels and a few trays stacked by vertical supports? This was ridiculous. I spent a portion of the journey after that thinking about the possible technical difficulties it could be experiencing. Surely the time-honoured railway excuse of leaves on the line wasn't applicable in this case. Chewing gum lodged in the wheel mechanism, maybe. An explosive can of Tango that could go off at any moment once the trolley moved off the spot, drenching all and sundry in horrible sticky orange stuff and inevitably casting a shadow over the rest of their day? I could've just asked, but I'm especially shy at that time of the morning so I didn't bother.

Anyway, I'm still in the big smoke now and am writing this from my brother's abode in Blackheath. After an extremely miserable afternoon at the football yesterday (less said the better) I fell ill last night and have sadly been housebound since. Vomit has featured in proceedings. Bloody typical that it happens while I'm down here. Hopefully it'll subside soon so I set about gallavanting around this hideous city.

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