Great Lies Of Advertising

1) When Cadbury's specifically targeted their advertising campaign for the Flake at women, they used images of women perched in bathtubs with one leg bent nicely on the side while sensually biting away without a care in the world. What they failed to mention is the fact that when eating a Flake in the bath, the little bits of chocolate get bloody everywhere, float about on the surface of the water and end up getting stuck in the hairs on your legs. It's a bloody nightmare.

2) The adverts for WKD talk about having a 'WKD side', and paint this as a loveable penchant for fun-filled pranks between lads who celebrate a special bond of friendship. In actual fact, most people's 'WKD side' involves scraping about in their pockets for their last quid of the night, buying a s**t alcopop, drinking it, and then puking it up on the sticky floor of a nightclub and starting on one of their friends at the taxi rank.

3) The old adverts for Pringles suggested that it was possible and indeed fun to casually pop a whole Pringle into one's mouth, and also that it'd make a really satisfying crunchy noise when you did it. In reality, you end up with small cuts alongside your lips, which are then immediately filled with salt and inevitably causes a stinging sensation, AND you're left with little shreds of crisp on your crotch. Not worth trying. Unless I've just got a really small mouth.

There's probably bigger advertising crimes out there concerning exploitation and degradation but who's interested in those...